A 12-year-old boy swears at the mistake he has done with his homework at school. His teacher catches him and tells him that he is too young to be swearing.

So tell me, what is the appropriate time to swear?

Is there even a specific age to when you can start swearing? Is it illegal to swear if you're underage? Heck, is there even a law?

It's strange how people say you're too young to swear. If that is so, when the hell is it right to swear then? Eighteen? Twenty-one? I have never heard of an international law that says you must be this age to swear and be vulgar. If there's no legal age to swear, then everyone is entitled to swear or are allowed to swear. Whether you are only 10-years-old, or 8, it's perfectly OK to swear.

But swearing is rude. It's inappropriate. It's just not good.
It's bad. It's vulgar. It's rude.

I think there's really no use telling someone not to swear. Everyone swears, one way or another. Damn. Shit. Holy crap. Mother of Jesus. What the heck. Oh my God. Goddamn. One way or another.

You can't really teach a child not to swear anymore. It'd be difficult. My generation's vulgarity is so saturated, that there's no way our children are going to escape from us swearing infront of them. At school. You hear an older kid swear. 'It's got to be cool if you swear!' You pick up a trend. It's cool. It's hip. Here goes, huh?

What children should be taught, is when not to swear. There is a time when you shouldn't be rude and swear. For example: you shouldn't swear infront of elders (even if they themselves swear). It's disrespectful and very rude. Another example, is that you shouldn't openly swear. In public. In a loud voice. Imagine you're a parent, and you child swears out loud in public while you're with some friends. How embarassing would it be? Your child just swore in vulgarity. Now your friends think you're a bad parent, and you're not a good example to your child. Your reputation among the other parents decreases.

Uh-oh?

It's quite a question to ask.
What is the age to be swearing?
When can one swear?
If a 12-year-old is too young to swear, then when is not young?

What do you think?
Cheers.

I was thinking, you know, what if I actually became a great journalist? Well okay, maybe not great, but well-known. So what if I was a great journalist, and I travelled around the world to all the countries you could name, or at least, most of them. I've written articles and articles about the world, reaching the hearts and changing the lives of many.

And one day,
I sit in my humble abode (whereever it might be)
on a comfortable little chair with a cup of tea on the table beside me
and I write about my past -
my childhood
my attitudes and thoughts,
Myself.

Incredible. I can actually imagine it. It sounds bright.

***********

I just watched Bridget Jones' Diary (the first one), and I felt all bubbly and giggly over the end bit, where Mark Darcy and Bridget finally get together, after Bridge runs onto the streets in her undies looking for Darcy. So cute. So sweet. How I dream of having a good looking man like Mr Darcy, come up to me and tell me that he likes me just the way I am. *faints*

Bah. Forget it Rae. After the movie, I told myself that it was these kind of movies that keep me on my toes, trying to reach hope. I'm so pathetic :) I'll forget about this by tomorrow. Hopefully.

***********

I watched Big Fish and Beyond Borders last night, both in a row and in the same night. What were the chances, that a movie with Ewan McGregor ♥ and Clive Owen play on the same night! I didn't want to go to sleep. I just had to stay awake to watch them both. Regardless of the two awesome actors, I thought both movies were incredible.

Big Fish is a Tim Burton (Charlie & The Chocolate Factory; Corpse Bride; Edward Scissorhands) film about an extraodinary man's adventurous life, which his son doesn't believe in. It's all about believing and being courageous in everything you do in life. If you believe, you're destined to do great things.

Beyond Borders was a romantic and passionate story about the hard and dangerous work relief workers do in the world today. It was so graphic. The story follows two people: an English doctor working for a non-profitable government organisation helping people in need of aid, and an American UN Ambassador. Both fall in love with each other and their story takes them from Ethiopia to Cambodia, and then to the extremely dangerous Chechnya (sp?). There were so many scenes of people being eaten by vultures and people being shot. It really hit the empathy spot in me. I really felt like we, the fortunate ones, should work together as one to really take action. We're not really helping them, if you ask me. Usually, big-ass countries like Australia or the USA give aid on terms and conditions. Is that really out of kind-heartedness? It can't be.

Both movies really hit me. I was so touched and in deep thought after both of them. It was already 3 AM, and I really needed to sleep. Funny thing, last night. Beyond Borders' lead actors, Angelina Jolie and Clive Owen were in my dream! The only thing I remember was hugging Mr Owen. It was so strange /swt

***********

Shaza and her mum came over to spend the evening with us today (technically, yesterday). It was good. Mum had cooked up some bolognaise for her famed lasagne, so she whipped up some spaghetti. Nothing tasted better than mum's home cooked spag and bolognaise. We watched a bit of Little Britain and the movie Because of Winn-Dixie. Another bloody good movie. It was so touching.

I seem to be watching all those touching movies. It might be getting to my head.

***********

I've decided to buy a new guitar, with the money I have. A cheap China made guitar. Acoustic. Semi-acoustic. My Gallagher is very cranky. One or two of his strings look like they're about to snap, and all of his strings are rusty as ever. The bridge is up too high, making it very difficult for me to hit the strings without feeling too much pain. Gallagher could do with a remake. A rebirth actually.

I need a new laptop battery too. Mine just sucks, quite frankly. It says the battery will last for 3 hours at the most, but it never does. It only lasts for 10 minutes at the most. Never more. I hate this. It just means I can't use Frank late at night in the Boarding house, when they switch the electricity off.

***********

I've been thinking about the things I want to do in the near future.
Here's a list.

1. Do extra-curricular soccer.
2. Learn how to dance (either tap or jive or, how Catcher Block dances at the end).
3. Play in the jazz band, or some sort of band.
4. Become a school photographer (just like old times).
5. Learn how to drive a car.
6. Take a year off from education (whether it be uni or school) to travel.
7. Have a social life.
8. Carry on blogging :)

***********

I should be off.
Someone's got to be awake to play tennis in 7 hours,
Cheers.

PS. Chris Dolling is coming down to KL
during the December holidays,
and guess who's accomodating him? :)

I might be in desperate need of a shower, after living through today's steamy-hot Malaysian weather.

However, I think I could spare a while to blog about what I'm thinking about right now.

I have found myself, again, embracing the 90 degree angle view of a part of Kuala Lumpur from my window right now. I've switched off the lights in my bedroom so I could see the lights clearly. It's beautiful, did I mention? It really looks like Coruscant from Star Wars. If you don't know, Coruscant is a planet that is a whole city itself. I'd take a picture of this view, but I'm just too lazy to move from my chair and retrieve my digital camera.

I'm playing a friendly tennis tournament this Saturday. It should be alot of fun, and interesting, so to speak. I really suck at playing real tennis games with other people. It's a whole new experience to me. I've played with people I know, and who I know their game. But this Saturday will be very different. It'll give me the opportunity to put my 'improved' skills at hand, and to use them in-game. I hope I feel improvement in my performance.

Ri and I had dindins with dad and his wife (basically, our stepmum). Just had a simple little meal at a Chinese restaurant, where practically everyone knows my dad. Well hello Mr. Popular. And someone was getting all the phone calls and messages that night! Anyway, dad gave Ri and I both some holiday allowance to spend. During the last holidays, I kept withdrawing money from the ATM machine in KL because I could get RM 150 in a day's drawing. I was limited to AUD$ 50 a day. I withdrew what I think summed up to AUD$300. That is ALOT of money for me. Dad had a row with me, but still agreed to top up my account, thankfully. I've learnt my lesson. I really have. So now, he has decided to give us pocket money, so we wouldn't have to use our ATM money in KL. Whatever made him happy, eh? :)

A small apartment, suitable for a small group of friends. I'm having a little 'gathering' (I like to call it) at our new unit this weekend. Nothing special. Nothing fantastic. It's just a small group of friends gathering at our new small apartment unit. Just like old times. Most of us will be infront of the TV, teaming up against each other in the realm of HALO 2. Some, or perhaps one or two will be on my laptop or jamming it off on the guitar in my bedroom. If there was anyone left, they'd be waiting for their turn on the plasma gun.

I miss those old times. When we had the house. Now, it's all downsize and downsize and downsize. It won't be the same again.

But whatever. We move on. Life won't wait for us.
We move out of houses
and we move into houses.
It's the same principle as meeting people.
You meet someone
and you lose contact with someone.

It's a sad little equation, but oh well!

Equations. Reminds me: I've got to get studying!! I brought all these books back and I haven't touched one of them yet! I've only got less than 2 weeks of holidays left, then I'm back in Sydney working my laziness off for the most hardest weeks of the year.

You know, I think I'll never be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I don't think I should even consider it. It shouldn't be an option for me. I don't want to care about little trends like these. I just want to move on in life and be merry. It's like a dinner at the famous and expensive Tetsuya's. Good education is what I'm eating off the starter plates at the moment. A little later, the heavier dishes start to come out as the main.

I was telling myself that I shouldn't consider such relationships. Friends and family support is all I need. Besides that, I'm a strong pessimist and I strongly believe that I will never find myself happy in a relationship with another person. I gave up having crushes a long time ago, and I made myself believe that you'll never get a boyfriend unless you're pretty and cool and all the things i'm not. I also made myself believe that no one liked me. I thought everyone was against me, from the way they looked at me and the way they treated me as a friend. I was so curious and observant of every little detail infront of me. Hell, even if someone made a scornful face behind my back, but while I was watching, I'd think they hated me. They're stupid theories, but that's what I fed myself with when I was much younger. I already figured good things couldn't happen to me because I was just so incapable of things and in many things. I can't do this, I can't do that.

Sometimes I wonder,
when will I ever stop thinking this way?

Never. I see no future in changing the way I think and my beliefs. I am, quite honestly, hopeless. But no fear. It doesn't matter. You see, I don't care. Why should I? There's no great reason to feel hopeful for something that has no future in my life. It'd be a waste of time if I thought any better. And besides, I'd be believing in something that might not even happen. How would I feel if I had that said right infront of my face? Heck, how would you feel?

"I'm sorry, but you're not going to get married and have children with this person. You're going to die young and live on a low income till then. Good bye."

Err, ouch?

Then again. It's 11.42 PM (GMT 8+), which is 1.42PM in GMT 10+ (Sydney's timezone), and I am a little tired. You know what people who are just a little tired can do. Blabber on about things that are kept in a folder right at the far end of a drawer, which is unconsciously placed at the back alley of one's mind.

Please
excuse me :)
Cheers.

PS. Tomorrow is my ex-Maths teacher,
Mr Lawrence Grant-Lapre's birfday.
May the force of Maths be with him.
(No matter how much I don't understand it)

I have found myself, yet again, in another famine. It's difficult. Living without technological advances.

I dearly miss the internet.

I'm now writing this on Wordpad. I'm so bored, there's nothing I feel like doing, but going online. I should use this time to study while I can, actually, but you know me, I'm too lazy to count numbers and read about horror.

I woke up early this morning to play tennis with mum, down at the Bukit Kiara Club. It seems that my time spent at the gym worked off great. My backhand has improved by far and so has my endurance. I'm full of content with these results.

Frankly, I miss Sydney. I miss the yetpet crew and I miss Fitness First. The gym at our apartment isn't very good. I don't like the cardio machine. They're all too big! And there's not enough machines! Boy am I fussy.


Well, that's one item crossed off my list of things to do in KL. I met up with James Chang on Sunday afternoon, with Shaza and mum. I kind of pity him. He was there, trying to endure everything Shaz and I did. We kept talking about our past, AISM and our homies. He was there. Sitting, there. Just listening. More, I made such a bad impression when coming to BSC. I took too long. Whoops.

I figured that if I'm going to survive through this internet famine, I should convert myself into a gamer again. I recently installed Star Wars Republic Commando. It's quite a good game, but I really don't like the targeting system on weapons. I mean, you point at a Geonosian warrior, shoot - but most of the time, it doesn't get hit. This annoys me so much. Maybe I should get HALO for the PC. I'm heavily considering Warcraft.

I was wondering about my Year 12, which is in less than 2 years now. Year 12 and uni. What will I do after Year 12? I keep wondering whether from the subjects I will be doing, and from the looks of how well I do things, will I ever get into the Uni course that I want? I've put a star beside Psychology, which requires a UAI (University Admission Index) of 95-97 in most Universities that I've pin-pointed (University of New South Wales, University of Sydney, Macquarie). I figured, that if you require a UAI of 99.9 for Law and Medicine, how hard would it be to get 95?

This has given me doubts about whether I can achieve such a high UAI in Year 12. Considering the subjects I will do in Year 11 and 12, I don't think I'll get a UAI of more than 90. I'm doing too many down-scaled subjects (Subjects that aren't important, therefore don't scale up). I'm most worried about Design & Technology. Apparently, you need to be best of the best to get good marks. Well, I'm not best of the best. So, I'm pretty much screwed for.

Maybe, I'll just stick with journalism, or maybe take up advertising. Something in the Media industry. I think I'm more suited for those things, and not the business side of things. I talked to mum and one of the tennis coaches about this, over breakfast after tennis this morning. Why not journalism? It'll take me all around the world. I'll also be able to use photography as a handy skill. I can become a photojournalist in the travel industry. By my early or mid 30s, I would've travelled the world! Oh what a dream that is.

I'll consider it. I'll really consider it.

For now, I lie in bed.
Cheers.

I'm sort of sitting here, looking at the beautiful KL lights from my new bedroom in our new condo unit at Mont Kiara Damai. It's fantastic. The lights are flickering like golden stars. Some move, and some don't. The scattered lights make KL's surface look like a city, 200 years from now. Such golden lights give me fresh and free feeling. I don't feel any regret agreeing to leave our old 48 Jalan Setia Bakti home. I miss it, though.

I arrived home on Friday night, with only 4 hours of sleep under my eyes that day. I began the day with the Year 12s waking us up (using cymbals, blowhorns and speakers) at midnight, playing around with us, and putting us to bed with ice and no pillows. In that time, we had to crawl under tables while being sprayed with water and shouted at; salute the Year 12s (UP-1-2-3 DOWN-1-2-3); worship the Year 12s; kiss the dirty Yr 12 Common Room floor; 'jump a fence'; drink what looked like 5 litres of water to win an early mark; clean the wet floor; get sprayed with fart smell crap.


Notice the face (vegemite-d); the hair (vegemite-d and sprinkled and feathered); the lips (in frowning position)

I had a good 4 hours sleep, and woke up just in time to catch a visit to the toilet before the Year 12s woke us up again. This time, they walked us down to the quadrangle field outside the boarding house. During this time of torture, they:
made us eat jelly (God knows what the hell they put in it); smeared vegemite on our faces (like war paint); tied targeted girls to pillars with rope and toyed with them; dipped some girls' hands into sardines/fish crap; made us crawl through a sardine spread on a mat (with raw fish!); go over and under hurdles with sardines around; put vegemite or honey on our hair, add colourful sprinkles, topped off with some feathers.
We were in hell.

It was all soon over, thankfully. It was already 6am, and we needed to get ready for school and home. I was so tired, I just didn't want to move on. We packed, cleaned up and everything in time for the end of term formal assembly. Oh how boring it was. Riana and I managed to escape near the end to go to the airport with boarding mistress (the sweetest one, ever) Anne Marie. She's such a lovely woman. She's so sweet.

Guess who we saw at the airport. Well, we saw TWO people, but guess the first.

No. Not Johnny Depp.
No. Not Barney the Purple rapist dinosaur.

We saw the guy who helped escort us through the airport before, in Term 1 AND 2! He was doing the flight check-ins. He recognised us, and was so nice to us on the baggage deals. Apparently, there are some real strict rules about how many bags you carry and how heavy all of them are. How lucky of Ri and I to have him there. I had suspected we'd be doom from all the heavy luggage we had.

Said our goodbyes. Went through immigration.

Guess who we saw at Gate 51?

No. Not Alessandra Ambrosio ;)
No. Not the Heffalump.

We saw Sebastian Aw, an old schoolmate from AISM. I was in Year 7 when he was in Year 8. He left the year after that to St. Joseph's College at Hunter's Hill. He was a huge otaku (Japanese anime/manga freak/obsessor/FAN) and loved Ayanami Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion. He called himself Chisato and we played blitzball (from the Final Fantasy X game) together during AISM's trip to Australia.

It was such a surprise. He looked the same, and he acted/talked the same. It was very cute :)

The flight was asdfghjkl;' boring. I read a bit. I math'd a bit, and still, it was very boring. The flight just kept on going. Possibly, the highlight of this flight was Australia's Northern coastline. I saw it! Finally! With my bare own eyes! I've always wanted to look at the Northern coast, where the edge touches the ocean. It's beautiful. The other highlight was this airstewardess, who came up to us and conversed with us.


The Northern coastline of Australia. I found it very cool 8)

Airstewardess: Hi, would you like the beef or the chicken?
Ri: No thank you :)
Rae: I'm fine thanks :)
Airstewardess: Oh~ Have you two been on this flight before?-
Rae: -Yeaaaa
Airstewardess: -I remember you two because you never eat or drink on the flight...
Rae & Ri: Hehehe

Three people. In one day. Wow.

Eventually, we arrived. How scary it was. This guy at the customs/immigration place had put his passport in the scanner the wrong way, so we had to wait for so long. I told the guy, POLITELY, that he had put it in the wrong way. He persisted to believe me, the bastard. So I screwed off to another queue, and ended up on the other side in no time. I watched a guard or office staff move over to the bastard and he said "Err, kamu passpot mesti letak sperti ni..." (Err, your passport must be put like this...). I couldn't stop laughing. I whispered under my breath, 'smart ass'. What a doofus. Malaysia was already getting into my head. While waiting for the luggage at the conveyer belt, these extremely logical people came right up to the conveyer with their trolleys' head-on with the side of the belt.
I asked myself: how the hell are they going to pull their bags over and onto their trolley, without any trouble and hassle? Note, I called these people extremely logical.

Outside the luggage claim was a nightmare. We stood around looking for mum, while all these freaky men came up to us asking us if we wanted a taxi. Before they could even start offering their wonderful and efficient services, I shot them with "No thanks". I might have hurt their feelings X) There was this guy who came up to me and asked me, with a smirk on his face, "Teksiiii? Yu wan teksii?" (You want taxi?) I said the usual "No thanks", and he starts asking me about the blue mark on my forehead (which read 3661, written on by the Year 12s). I was beginning to feel very awkward and scared.

I'm in my 3rd day of the holidays and so far, it's been great. The unit's fantastic. We had a wonderful dinner cooked by mum with the help of Inday, our beloved maid, and we invited the Wongs and Carol and her son Johnathan. It was fun, so to speak.


(From left) Our living room, Dining room


My bedroom

I'm going to head off to sleep. My left eye is far too weak to carry on. I must sleep.

The lights are now fading away. They hardly flicker, and the city of 2205 is now asleep.

and all of the stars
are fading away
but try not to worry
you'll see them some day...
Cheers.

I really dislike my English classes now. I don't like the feeling of being so low-a-grade compared to my friends in class. I'm a slow reader and I tend to forget things very easily. My friends read at lightning speed. I read at turtle speed.

This uncomfortable situation has led me into thought of studying harder. When I get back to KL, I will make good use of my time studying when there's nothing else to do. All these books I'm brining back will finally become good use to me. I'll do SC practice papers to work on my reading and interpreting skills. I'll read more texts to increase my reading speed and understanding.

Now is the time to rise.

Riana and I went back to our apartment unit at Gladesville this evening. I thought it was very exciting. Being back at our apartment. I missed it so much. Although, it was really dusty and dirty. The unit was screaming out for a clean-up. I managed to pack away my things into the cupboards during the only hour we had there. Ri and I settled down after unpacking, with a bowl of Mi Goreng at the telly. Shortly after that, we both had to leave for dinner with Sin and her family. We all had a simple Chinese meal at Lane Cove. It was the first time Ri and I had Deep Fried Ice-Cream. Something told me that it was from a packet, and not really deep fried. >__> Doh.

I was awarded for another Wacky Wednesday award at today's boarders meeting. It was from Jude. For my support and kindness. One of the boarding house mistresses, Anne Marie told me about it infront of Jude earlier tonight, and I really felt like crying.
THANKS JUDE. Anytime, KAY? :)
I don't do things like helping someone and what not for the recognition. I do it because I want to. Out of shear kind-heartedness. I really like to help people. I don't know why. I can't help, but help. :)


Year 12 Valedictory (sp?) dinner is tomorrow, and I am all set for the multiculture theme. I have two choices. Malaysian kampung person or Chinese person. I have a sarong and a Chinese blouse. I just don't know which I should wear.

And on that very night, I know I will not be sleeping, because it is the dawn of the Year 12 Muck-Up Day. We're supposed to wear underwear on our heads and stockings to bed. How ridiculous is that. Something tells me they will be taking videos of us in bed looking like idiots. I'm so scared. :
Sung in the tune of "I'll Be Home For Christmas"
I'll be home for Friiiiidayyyyyy~ ,
just twoooo~ more dayyyssss~ to gooooo... ~

Cheers.

3 DAYS TO GO, AND COUNTING!!!

I'm so excited about the upcoming holidays. I seriously cannot wait. The little Rae demon in me is jumping up and down in me. I keep adding little notes in a list in my head of what I want to do when I get home.

1. Eat true-blue Malaysian food. Chinese food, most importantly!
2. Meet my homies.
   
3. Meet James Chang.
4. Study for the Year 10 Yearly exams & final assessments + School Cert in November
5. Go to Bangsar Shopping Centre. For some strange reason, everytime I think of home, I think of BSC.
6. Buy DVDs.
7. Propose for a new laptop battery.
8. Make negotiations for iPod Nano.
9. Go shopping.
10. Play tennis.
11. Go to the gym at the new apartment (Damai) + Fitness First at Damansara Heights.
12. Get acoustic guitar re-strung with nice smooth metal strings.

The list goes on, really.

This week has been pretty all right. Judy's back from her week's vacation under the weather from her room. It's lovely to hear noise again :)


We had some fun with my camera today. I think tomorrow's going to be another camera day too. It's like a tradition. Every end of term, we take pictures of us yetpet gang for memories.

I don't think I have much to blog about. I'm pretty blank at the moment. I was working on my room today. Just cleaning up all the books and clothes and crap. I'm going out after school with Riana back to the Hunter's Cove apartment. Sin Lo, a friend of mum's, is taking us out. I'm so glad I've found three new guardians. Next term, I am definately out for the weekends with them. I hope. I hope.

With only 3 days to go
Cheers.

It may have been my last post about getting a new MP3 player replacement, that pissed my iPod off so bad, that it had to cast a curse on me.

You see, this morning, I woke up and decided to install iTunes 5. Which I did. Successfully. After that, I decided, 'Hey, why don't I transfer all my music from iPod to computer?!' So I did.

I connected my iPod to my computer, and iTunes caught it. I clicked on something. I pressed delete. And what happened?

Well, it really happened too fast for me to consider my options. I didn't know what was happening. Basically, I accidentally deleted the songs on my iPod, instead of my computer's library. How fucked is that.

I did another transfer after that, and caught errors at the end of it. I typed the errors out on an Excel spreadsheet and ended up with a final conclusion.

I had accidentally deleted 601 songs from my iPod.

Get fucked, I thought.

My iPod probably somehow read my blog entry about getting the smexy Nano, and thought I was going to ditch it forever. My iPod is so sadistic.

5 Days to go, folks
Cheers.

Hello all :) This is not Rae, this is Jude. Jude is blogging for Rae for awhile! :D Rae had a pretty boring day today, although something bad happened to her in the morning- but I'll let her tell you what happened herself because I think she wants to rant about it herself. We had chapel with Miss Buringi today (our christian studies teacher) & she brought her husband along. He's from Uganda! :D It was a pretty good chapel session- a whole lot better than the usual chapel sessions we have with Reverend Sawyer. Some junior boys from Riverview came for a BBQ lunch & all the junior girls were so excited, it was pretty hilarious to watch. After Chapel & about 10 minutes of me putting on make-up to hide the fact that I'm sick, we headed off to Bondi Junction! It was my first few steps outside, it felt so refreshing (after staying in for a week.) Rae & I had a japanese lunch at a place called Gari- what a waste of money it was :( We were supposed to catch a movie but the movies showing weren't worth the $11.90AU we have to pay. After alot of walking around & Rae waiting for me because she didn't want to come into a lingerie shop, we finally headed back to the Boarding House. We were supposed to go down to Bronte Beach but I got lazy. The rest of the day was spent moping around & doing up a farewell card for Phil YOU GUYS CAN VISIT MY BLOG IF YOU WANT MMKAY?! Drop a tag while you're at it Rae's Barbarian Boss.

p.s. TAG MORE!

& turned on the lights; 14:57

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Shut the hell up. Who are you to say that I can't have the iPod Nano because it's a waste of money. I'm going to buy it, or try and get it in any way possible - and that's that.

I believe that I deserve one. I've had my thick 3rd Generation 40GB iPod for far too long (2 years), and it's just the heaviest thing around. It's thick and heavy. Thick and heavy.

So, I think I deserve a thinner, lighter one instead. I've done my heavy times already. It's time for a change. I haven't bought or received anything extremely tech-like in quite a long while. I haven't been very fussy. Really. The last thing I got was a camera, which I am still very happy today.

If I don't get the Nano, I think I'll get the Shuffle. But I really prefer the Nano. It's thinner and can hold more songs.

The 512MB Shuffle costs RM 483, which is approximately half of the Nano's 2GB model (RM 969). So you can imagine:

512 MB iPod Shuffle (RM 483) x 2 = 1/2 of 2GB iPod Nano (RM 969)

A waste of money? I think not! It's sooo much more worth the money.

Off to practice my compromise/negotiation/begging skills
Cheers.

& turned on the lights; 20:44

I really miss those days. Back at the Australian International School in Malaysia. Those days are just mere memories now.

^
I miss my friends.
( From left: Dave, me, Nurie, Nat & Zae )

( From left: Zae, Tom & Ew-Jun with BinBin biscuit stickers on )

^
( From left: David vs. Nat / Su-Yi in BG )

I miss the times we did the most stupid things.

( From left: Shaz, Ri, Dhiv, Ew-Jun & Tom )

^
I miss the times we used to sit around in my living room playing HALO/HALO 2.

I miss giving Ms. Soon See the shits because she reminded me of my evil bitch aunt.

And most of all...

I miss Year 9/2004 of AISM.

Don't you just love reminiscing the past? It's so, maaannn. Everytime I think about the my first three years of secondary school at AISM, I get all sad. I really wish I could relive those old times again. Even one day would be fine. Those days when we were young and naive. Those days when we'd do the most stupidest things and feel just fine.

Now. It's like. Different.

But life moves on. We can't stop. We can't turn back.

Garr. Why do I keep talking about these things? Life must move on and what not. I'm just so lame.

Fug life
Cheers.

& turned on the lights; 09:44

Friday, September 16, 2005

Oh yeah. Winding, all right!

I just turned my back on the Highway To Hell and am now walking to and down the Road to Salvation. Everything seems to be getting brighter. Let's say it's still quite grey now. I don't think I'll see white till the middle of next week -_-

The Australian Hist & Geog School Cert Trial wasn't as bad as I thought it might've been. In the end, I found it quite easy! I realised that if I had studied much more, I would've found so much more easier. What a difference I could've made.

My heavy burdens are now off my shoulders, and I can breathe again. I finished my English villain pamphlet last night, which made me more happy that night. I had to draw Darth Vader about 5 times in different scenes. It was very amusing.

*********

During English today, we were, as a class, doing the questions of the 2002's English School Certificate Exam. I thought there was alot of reading to do. The texts they provide are long and boring. My interpreting skills just weren't up to notch today. I sat there, finding myself reading a sentence more than once to understand it. After completing a section of the paper, as a class, we discussed our answers as Ms Nathan read them out. I got 8 mistakes, which is extremely poor. As I marked a cross beside each of my answers, Saniya, this girl in my Year who acts like a total grandma, kept saying under her breath, 'Yes. Yes. Yes.' Obviously, she was scoring. I was saying under my breath, 'No. No. For fuck's sake no.'

Don't you just hate it when in class, you're sitting there doing your work, and your classmate beside you starts mumbling about her correct answers and making smart comments about the work we do? Well, I find it annoying. Dreadfully annoying. I mean, why can't the classmate just shut up about it? Are they death? Do they have a hearing problem? I call it boastful. Saniya is a boastful person, but she doesn't know it. Heck, I think we are all boastful people, only on different levels.

I just find it so annoying when people do that. It's not that I'm jealous. It's just why can't they keep their glories and successes to themselves? It's not like they're celebrating or anything. Mumbling yes, another score for me under your breath is not celebrating. That's secret-newsflashing. 'Hey World! I got this answer right! Hear that?! Right! Ha ha!'

Shut the hell up.

*********

I came back to my bedroom in the BH, dropped my bag on the floor, folder on the desk, and sat down on my bed. And as I sat there, I gave out a big sigh. It just shows that I've worked very hard through this week. It was a long journey, and I did it. It's over. Over till the next walk in Hell. I lied on my bed shortly after that. Part of the ceiling lights were switched off, so I took the chance to rest my head, my eyes, my soul, under the dim lighting of the dorm. I fiddled with my mobile phone and curled up in my bed. Riana came by to talk to me about tomorrow. We're going to see Uncle Neville and Aunty Evelyn. I hate to call them uncle and aunty. It's like, not right. Anyway, we're meeting up with them tomorrow afternoon. I have to leave my guitar with them because I don't want to carry it home to KL. It's just too much hassle.

*********

Judy and I watched Carl Barron: Whatever comes next... DVD last night. It was absolutely hilarious. Judy was pissing herself and I was getting stomach cramps from all the laughing. I think we might've stirred up some angry people who just woke up from all the noise. I apologised to one of them earlier today already. :)

*********

I realised, just looking at this BH just a while ago, that I hate the BH now. This will go away. I know it will. I just hate it now. I can't stand it any longer.

I need to go home.
Just like the rest of the other boarders.

Malaysia is calling me,
Cheers.

& turned on the lights; 13:53

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I'm currently somewhere in the middle of the Highway To Hell. I'm wondering if I should turn back and move down the Road to Salvation.

Slowly, but surely
as I count the days to my departure.

This week, I've been walking to my grave. Next week, I'll be taking the walk back and down the Road to Salvation. Oh, how I can't wait.

**********

Today was rather stupid, I think. Actually, I can't really remember this moment - what happened. It's always that way. I come back from school and I plonk my bag on the floor, and I sit down for a moment - what did I do today? Well. I don't think about it. I move on. Maybe to Judy's room. Or somewhere else around the Boarding House. The thought of what I did in the day, never crosses my mind during this time.

Suddenly, you know, someone asks me 'So how was your day?', or maybe something like 'What happened?' I'd stand there thinking hard about what I did. Slowly, things start coming to mind:

School. School. School. Work. School.

I can't think of anything else but school. Basically, I have a terrible memory. Terrible. You don't know how much I want to emphasize the word terrible. I forget things too easily.

Like last year's Australian Hist and Geo content. I can't remember more than 40 years of Australian History! I can't remember what changing community I did as a case study! And this is terrible because I need to know such things for tomorrow's exam. If I don't, I can kiss 60% weighing of marks for both Aust. History and Geog -- goodbye -- which I don't particularly want to do, of course. I'd really like to do well.

After this trial exam, I am free. Free. Free like a bird. (Judy, please don't hate me for saying that :) )

I did my Maths 4-topic test today. About 20 minutes into the hour and I was feeling overconfident that I could very well score an A. Five minutes later, and I realise I missed a page of questions. It was Chance & Probability. Less than a minute later, I realise I have also missed another page of questions. Graphs, this time. The nerdy little demon in me screamed, and my mind echoed with paranoia. I knew I was done for. I knew it was over.

Anyhow, I managed to do most of what I missed in the remaining time. However, I did calculate the marks that I would've lost. I estimated 15 marks. Now really, that is alot of marks we're talking about! I lost 10 in Geography, and now I will lose an estimated 15 marks. I left the class not doing about 5 questions. I can't stand thinking about this. I really want to do well!

**********

We are such weird creatures on this planet. Humans, we call ourselves. I sat in Life After School class today, thinking about how incredibly strange and unique we are, as we watched a video on Human Behaviour/Movement. We're so smart, and so intelligent, that we can come up with words like Earth and human and faeces. Marvelous. We've come up with so many inventions! Like school and lamps and mirrors. Fantastic.

Although, regardless of all our profound inventions and what not, we are such a sad, dumb race. We're greedy, selfish, self-conscious - and we called it human nature. We are many more things, but I'm not going to waste my time typing them all out. I'm too lazy, which, by the way, is also part of our nature. Intelligent, we are, but not intelligent to see that there are people who are dying from hunger and what not while we eat scrumptious dinners and have lavish homes (even a small studio flat is lavish to any poor hungry Ethiopian). We are so dumb to realise how rude we can be sometimes. We are so foolish to feel pressured by fake images and photoshopped people. Are we really that blind?

I really think us humans, the smartest asses living and shitting on the face of this planet, are not as smart as we might seem in text books. We are so dumb. Even if you can do more maths than the smarter monkeys who can do five plus fours, we are still very unintelligent.

**********

What a rant! On us humans. We're quite a despicable race, but whatever, I'm satified with everything there is today. Except for Maths. I mean, what use is trigonometry in our future? Especially in Year 10 Maths. It's not like we're going to walk down the street, see this ladder leaning on a wall and stand there calculating the angle of where the ladder touches the ground and the ground. I mean, almost half of the subject spells USELESS.

But whatever. Sif I really care right now. I need to go study some History and Geography.

Australian History = USELESS (tell me, where the hell are we going to apply this knowledge after school life? just tell me. stories for our wee ones in the future? could they care any less?)
Australian Geography = SEMI-USELESS (all we do is read maps, think about Australia's land and its formations, and talk about change. i understand the maps and all the other skills, but is this really relevant?)

There's a bit of Maths for you to do.

Knock yourselves out,
Cheers.

& turned on the lights; 15:45

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

WELCOME ALL.

Here, Raeville starts anew.

I was too annoyed with Blog-city and the whole layout, that I was encouraged into starting a fresh new blog. I've been considering Blogspot for many times, but I just never found the motivation to actually make the shift.

Now the motivation is in my hands, and I am taking advantage of it (Not in a sexual way, of course :) ). And here it is, the new Raeville.

********

Anyhow, I haven't been blogging in what seems to be ages, because I've been too busy with work and fun at the same time. It's not easy to juggle so many tasks at once, kay? I have a Maths test tomorrow, which covers 4 topics (Chance, Rates & Variables, Trig and Graphs); then, I have the School Certificate Trial for Australian Hist. and Geog. which both subjects, I only know HALF the content. So as you can tell, I am in deep shit.

I received my Geography test on the Manly Dam Catchment Excursion today. Do you remember me whining about it? Anyway, I received a not-too-shabby 50.5/60. I lost 9.5 marks! That is a HUGE chunk of marks, all gone! Gone, gone, gone! What I did wrong, I actually do not know. But whatever it is, I am quite happy with the result.

I broke down, mentally, yesterday. I cried. I laughed. I was acting like a total freak - a psycho. I couldn't stop! My head was ready to blow, and my inner demon was just at the brink of demolishing its shell and the rest of the world around it. I couldn't take the pressure of homework, assessments and tests. I just couldn't. I figured I'd fail the tests this week, and give it all my heart and soul during the real thing in November.

I can't. I have to keep moving.

I'll be home next Friday!!! How exciting! I just can't wait! Yes! Yes! I'm a little girl with pig tails jumping on my bed! Yay! Yay! -falls&breaksknee* Ouch! Ouch!

What ever it is. I miss half a day of the Year 12 MuckUp Day. Thank Goodness. I mean, they're theme is BOOTCAMP. Would I want to be sticking around for that day? I DON'T THINK SO.

I can't wait for this week to be over. I need a break. I need a break right now.

Give me a Kit-Kat,
Cheers.

& turned on the lights; 14:42